1. |
Not This Time
03:01
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Going downtown, or hanging out with friends
Or to a private party, or out to the lake
Getting wasted, talking about anything but you
Works every time
But not this time
Seeing a show I've always wanted to see
A film festival, an exhibition, or a reading
Any polemic to shock my numb, jaded mind
Works every time
But not this time
Hiking somewhere I can be by myself
Or blowing everything off and going out to the sea
Trying to find a reason I should ever come back
Works every time
But not this time
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2. |
The Hanged Man
03:17
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You have the very nerve to speak what's on your mind
You're way too controversial, shocking for these times
Social conventions aren't enough to hold you back
They find you dangerous; they're launching their attack
Tomorrow you're a hero
But today on trial you stand
You are the hanged man
The social order won't say why you're such a threat
They stand so much to lose if you're not in their debt
Their status rests on you believing what they say
They use stigmata when the facts get in the way
Tomorrow you're a hero
But today on trial you stand
You are the hanged man
You're shunned and stigmatized; you're treated like a freak
Stifling conformity allows no one to speak
But history's great ones always shift the paradigm
You bear the curse of being years before your time
Tomorrow you're a hero
But today on trial you stand
You are the hanged man
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3. |
Oceangoing
04:07
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Right at this moment
When I'm doing alright
And I've picked up the pieces
Of the rest of my life
Just when I've forgotten
All I've tried to forget
You come back and tell me you miss me
And how much I meant
Why should I be there
Whenever you need a friend?
I moved on like you did long ago
To keep from reaching the end
But whenever your lonely days
Turn into nights
That's when you come back from the past
To ruin my life
If I could charter an oceangoing yacht
I'd travel everywhere you're not
Mozambique or Monaco
I really don't care where I go
So many wondrous ports of call
Where I won't see your face at all
I'd circumnavigate a world
Much bigger than the one you destroyed
Right at this moment
When I'm doing alright
And I've picked up the pieces
Of the rest of my life
Just when I've forgotten
All I've tried to forget
You come back and tell me you miss me
And how much I meant
If I could charter an oceangoing yacht
I'd travel everywhere you're not
The destination is the voyage itself
Always underway to somewhere else
You were always scared of the sea
So that's a nice safe home to me
And if a rogue wave swallows me...
Whatever happens next
That's alright with me
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4. |
The Long Goodbye
01:36
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5. |
Wish I Could Have You
03:55
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There are so many things that I wish I could say
So many times that I wish I could spend with you
So many circumstances getting in the way
What I want is so damn wrong; there's nothing I can do
But that won't help me sleep at night
And I just can't convince myself that it's alright
I tell you I'm alright, but that's just an act
You just don't know what I'm holding back
I wish that I could have you
I bite my tongue so hard, knowing you've made all kinds of plans
Hour by hour, I pull myself together, with no choice but to understand
Piece by piece, it rips out everything I am inside
There's nothing more I want in this world than for you to see my eyes
But that won't help me sleep at night
And I just can't convince myself that it's alright
I tell you I'm alright, but that's just an act
You just don't know what I'm holding back
I wish that I could have you
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6. |
Down The Back Stairs
01:09
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7. |
Tell Me Why
03:44
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Don't wanna talk about it
Because I'd have to think about it
I'm sure he fits just right
Night after magic night
Much better than I ever could,
I suppose
So tell me why
Am I wondering what she's doing tonight?
Tell me why
Am I drinking her off my mind?
Tell me why
Are her messages still in my phone?
Tell me why
No matter who I'm out with,
I still feel so alone
I'd stop this backward motion
If I let go of the notion
That happiness I'll never find
Unless she's right here by my side
And somehow, life's travails will fall behind,
I suppose
So tell me why
Am I wondering what she's doing tonight?
Tell me why
Am I drinking her off my mind?
Tell me why
Are her pictures still in my phone?
Tell me why
No matter who I'm out with,
I still feel so alone
I should be living like a king
So many fish in this vast sea
And not give up on life too soon
Measured out in coffee spoons
Embittered, facing self-inflicted doom,
I suppose
So tell me why
Am I wondering what she's doing tonight?
Tell me why
Am I drinking her off my mind?
Tell me why
Is her number still in my phone?
Tell me why
No matter who I'm out with,
I still feel so alone
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8. |
Virginia
02:09
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9. |
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And you're still in my head
And I'm feeling half past dead
On this hellride
I just wanna hide
Don't want to confide
What you already know but don't care about
As far as you're concerned, I'm doing fine
Why do you waste my time?
As far as you're concerned, I'm doing fine
Why do you waste my time?
And I don't need your new man
Telling me what an awesome guy you think I am
Just walk away
It's better that way
Maybe someday
I'll be alright, but now I need some space and time
So as far as you're concerned, I'm doing fine
Why do you waste my time?
As far as you're concerned, I'm doing fine
Why do you waste my time?
And if I freeze you out,
Revenge is not what it's about
Because you never did anything wrong
And it was just my problem all along
But all this time I've been withdrawn
Because inside I break apart
On this hellride
I just wanna hide
Don't want to confide
What you already know, but don't care about
As far as you're concerned, I'm doing fine
Why do you waste my time?
As far as you're concerned, I'm doing fine
Why do you waste my time?
As far as you're concerned, I'm doing fine
Why do you waste my time?
As far as you're concerned, I'm doing fine
Why do you waste my time?
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10. |
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Questioning each word I say,
The pressure's brought to bear
Extrapolating hidden meaning
That just isn't there
Digging for a motive
Under all I say and do
You put it all together
Showing how it all comes back to you
But it is not always about you
It is not always about you
There was a time I'd die for you
Sometimes I almost did
And it was all that I could do
To keep my feelings hid
But that turned out to nothing,
Buried so far in the past
This life is so much greater
Than the shadow that you cast
It is not always about you
It is not always about you
...It's time we both moved on
And you've wasted time
Of yours and mine
With nothing all along
Combing through the plans I make
Might not make sense to you
Looking through my motives,
You might be a bit confused
'Cause it is not always about you
It is not always about you
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11. |
She Never Loved Me
03:35
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Searching for explanations,
As many as I can find
Sorting through complications
Racked up in my mind
Recalling situations
Happening this year
Then my big revelation,
Things got harshly clear
You know, she never loved me
I'm grateful for this closure,
Badly as it stings
The truth has set me free,
Although it clipped my wings
No more regrets
Of so-called "chances" gone to waste
An existential vacuum
Is all that took their place
You know, she never loved me
And all this time,
She was only making nice
Then she got on with her life,
And never thought about me twice
Perhaps for just one moment,
She cared about how I felt
But it's most likely
She was just avoiding guilt
I feel so empty
And destroyed, as you can guess
I try to keep my head in check,
Avoiding bitterness
I've got all I need
To rise above it all and move ahead
The world is mine
If I could just get out of bed
You know, she never loved me
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12. |
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13. |
Red Sky, Morning
02:26
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